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2004


2004-05-18.txt - Monday, May 17, 2004 11:00 pm
So I have lost all creative impulses as of late. It's like my entire life has just turned into being a mindless work zombie.It's too bad, my mind is dead yet still my body lives for some reason. I can't stand it. What am I supposed to find salvation in now? God? Please. I hate my job and sitting in front of a goddamn computer every day. It's all just meaningless drivel anyway. So, I continue to live alternate lives I can never have, all in my head. I have been having this recurring dream, that just won't go away. It starts with me killing someone, but I am not sure who it is. I don't just hit them in the head and they die, I literally bludgeon them to death with a hammer. Afterwards, I dismember the body and put it in a suitcase or something. Then I hide it in a freezer or some kind of locker. It all seems so real, I can even smell the rotting flesh in my dream. It's so real I wake up horrified at what I have done wondering whether I must leave the country to avoid pursecution by the police and other law enforcement officials. But, I can't imagine where any of these places in my dream are, so it must not be real. Besides, when would I have time to go out and kill people?comments





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